security things

From personal safety to protecting your belongings to identity theft, it's important to be security conscious today. It seems that almost every night I see stories of break-ins, burglaries and other attacks on the evening news. A lot of the time I find myself thinking that the victims might have protected themselves, their loved ones, their homes or their property with one of our simple little Things.

Our Wall Clock With Hidden Safe looks like a regular wall clock at first glance. But it's actually a battery operated wall safe that cleverly hangs in plain view. There are three shelves inside for valuables such as cash, jewelry and other precious items. When I got this Spare Key Hider for my aunt, who constantly locks herself out of her car, it didn't occur to me that it would contribute to her personal safety. Now instead of having to wait outside the safety of her car for the auto club (or me), she has a spare right under her license plate. Within a minute or so, she's back in her car and out of harm's way.

We've all heard the horror stories about household helpers who mistreat the children or steal or commit other crimes against the family. This Color 5.8 GHz Wireless Camera transmits signals on the newer 5.8 GHz frequency band, which makes it much less likely that neighboring electronics (like cordless phones, microwave ovens, and wireless LANs) will interfere with the signal. The color CMOS camera has 12 infrared LEDs for "night vision" surveillance and the receiver connects to a computer monitor or TV for viewing and/or recording.

With the Audio Jammer you can keep your private conversations private. It emits an unfilterable white noise that varies in frequency and amplitude to desensitize any bugs in the room. As long as your conversation is lower than the volume of the jamming noise, it masks human voices. Bugging devices can't separate the white noise from your voices--all the listener hears is a loud hissing noise.

Identity theft is one of the biggest topics on television, Internet newsgroups and office water coolers these days. Since I'm trying my best to go “paperless” both at work and at home, I burn a lot of backup CDs to store data I don't want to print. But my shredder won't shred a CD when I don't need it anymore. So this CD Destroyer is perfect. A rotating head with three steel points deeply scratches the surface of the disc. In just a few seconds, the disc is completely unreadable and you can throw it away with confidence.

My dad has this Driveway Patrol. At first I thought it was kind of silly that he had to know every time a car pulled into his driveway. But it detects more than expected visitors—it also detects people walking up to the door and the kids across the street who sometimes use his driveway as part of their skate park. And this Alarm Security Bar does the same thing for your doors. You just put the yoke against the doorknob and if anyone touches it, the alarm sounds. Or you can set it to play a recording of a barking dog to scare away intruders.

It's a shame, but the world we live in today requires us to be vigilant and security-minded at all times, so I'm sure glad these Things exist.

political things

It's that time of year again. You know, the time when the politicians and pundits are filling the airwaves with incomprehensible rhetoric, yard signs and bumper stickers are going up all over town to make sure you know just who your friends and neighbors will be voting for and everyone's talking about a change. Honestly, it all just makes me weary. Don't get me wrong—I've voted in every single election since I was eighteen—but I sometimes need a bit of a distraction from all the chatter. So I found these Things in the warehouse to help take my mind off of it for a while.

No matter which side of the aisle you favor, we have something for every political taste. For example, these non-partisan Politicards and cast today's political players—left, right and center—in roles from classic feature films. See John McCain as Rocky Balboa, Barack Obama as Moses and Mitt Romney (“We're on a mission from God!”) as Elwood Blues from The Blues Brothers. It's the most fun you can have playing a card game, especially at this time of year.

If you'd like to have some fun with the current administration, check out these George W. Bush playing cards. Our Commander In Chief's face is pasted over the faces of bathing beauties and a few other crazy bodies. Talk about gender (and species) confusion! Our Bush Toilet Paper is great for home use and for a great gag gift. Liberals will love it and conservatives will love to hate it. Each sheet shows the classic “Dubya” face with quotes like “They misunderestimated me.” Finally, you can use our Head of State to clean your head with this Bush Bowl Buddy. Now that's a mission accomplished!

Of course, we can't neglect poor Hillary! The Hillary Bowl Buddy is an amazing likeness of Senator Clinton, right down to the prim and proper dress and sensible shoes. Just pour in some cleanser and swish her head around the toilet for a sparkling clean result. She's tough enough to get the job done! I mean, just look at this Hillary Clinton Nutcracker made in her honor. With “legs of steel,” she can crack anyone's walnuts.

We have a whole host of political Things to help you laugh your way through the upcoming election season. Just don't get laughing so hard that you forget to vote!

gadgets & things

As I mentioned last week, I've been on a quest to find cool new gadgets. A short trip through the warehouse was all it took to uncover some very handy Things for the car, for your health and just for fun.

Things I found for the car make life both easier and safer. The Porta-Jump™ recharges your car battery in about 10 minutes using the power from your car's cigarette lighter socket. Plus, it's small enough to fit in the glove compartment of most cars. It's a lot more convenient and a lot safer than waiting for the auto club or carrying jumper cables and depending on strangers for assistance. Speaking of safety and convenience, I bought a Spare Key Hider for my aunt. Since she drives an older car, it doesn't have an alarm to alert her when she leaves her keys in the ignition. Of course, it doesn't have electronic locks either, so she doesn't realize she's locked her keys in the car until right after the door slams shut. I've rescued her enough times to make this handy little Thing a good investment. The Grip It Power Brush is a great car gadget. It connects to your hand drill to make cleaning road grime out of your wheels a lot easier. I tried it out last night—it really works. The cleaning tip gets around lug nuts and into other nooks and crannies. It's completely safe for chrome and other surfaces and it also works great on head lights, tail lights, grills, bumpers and mirrors.

I found a few Things that can help improve your health, too. Who knew that keeping your wallet in your front pocket not only makes it less accessible to pickpockets, but helps prevent backaches? It seems that sitting on a wallet is a major source of back pain for a lot of men. This Front Pocket Wallet is designed to match the contour of your front pocket. It's very slim so it doesn't show even through lightweight slacks.

For insect sting and bite relief, I found this Therapik. It neutralizes the venom in about 20-30 seconds. I'm going camping next month and I'm definitely taking one of these with me! For travel, I think this Portable UV Scanner is one of the best Things ever invented. We've all seen those awful stories about hidden filth in hotels and motels. In just a few seconds, this gadget destroys bacteria and viruses like E-coli, hepatitis, influenza and others with the same technology that is used in hospitals. The UVC light turns on when you flip it open—you simply pass it over surfaces you want to sterilize.

I like useful Things, but Things for just plain fun are my favorite. These Wireless Headphones make it easy for two people to listen to music or television at the same time, even in different places and at different volumes. I think they're more comfortable than ear buds and without being wired to the stereo, you can work outside or just roam around the house without getting out of earshot of whatever you're listening to. Digital Picture Converter makes 35mm negatives and slides into digital images. It's a smaller, less expensive version of high-end negative scanners. My sister and I were playing with it here in the office and she had a great idea: we're going to “steal” some old photos from our parents and create a digital scrapbook for their wedding anniversary.

I think I'll head back out to the warehouse and see what other great Things I can find.

movie mania

If you follow this blog, you know I love movies and movie memorabilia. Not just collectibles like film cels, but toys, posters, stamps, action figures and just about anything that reminds me of my favorite movies. Our buyers are always looking for cool Things to collect from the movies—and there are a lot of them this year.

The Harry Potter series is one of my favorites. I've read all the books and seen every movie so I had to have this framed set of Harry Potter Film Cels from the original prints of all five movies. I also bought one for my cousin, even though his birthday is several months away. You never know when we're going to sell out of these Things.

The Lord of the Rings is arguably the greatest fantasy film series of all time. These are movies that you don't see just once, but twice or even three times. (Who? Me?) I got The Lord of The Rings Trilogy Cels to display on my bookcase between my worn out old copies of the books.

I honestly can't see why, but my sister is totally crazy for Johnny Depp. She was the very first to buy the Pirates of the Caribbean Film Cels from us. True, I was second, but because I think the series is one of the best Disney has ever released, not because I want to make googly eyes at Jack Sparrow's picture. Sheesh. Maybe I don't always understand her, but my sister can be kind of cool sometimes. For example, she knows that Star Wars is one of my favorite science fiction movie series. She bought the History of Star Wars Film Cels collection for me before I even knew we had it. It was just hanging in my office when I came to work one morning.

Toys from the movies are fun, too. Especially if you actually play with them like I do. I got this Star Trek Phaser for just that reason. It has sound and light effects and a break-away design that lets you remove the “type one” phaser from the pistol grip. I keep it on my desk, right next to my Alien Vs Predator action figures. If you ask me, memorabilia you use is the best kind.

That's why I always end up buying Things like this Scarface Gun Lamp and Indiana Jones Hat. I use the lamp in my home office and, yes, I do wear the hat—not just for Halloween, either. It's a cool hat and it's well made.

Sometimes useful Things are purposely transformed into collectibles. This Harry Potter Stamp Set is a perfect example. Issued by Britain's postal service on July 17, 2007, the stamps are canceled with the official "First Day of Issue" Quidditch postmark, so even if you lived in Great Britain, you couldn't use them. Because they're a piece of British memorabilia celebrating the Harry Potter phenomenon, of course I had to have them.

Now that I have my collectibles in order, I'm going to head out to the warehouse and see what kind of new gadgets we have to play with. I love my job.

coins, coins, coins

We're collectors. Nearly everyone who works here collects something. My grandpa collects coins. Since his birthday is coming up, I went looking through our stock of coins for something unique and interesting to add to his collection.

America's First Silver Dollar was the first Thing that caught my eye. It's not a replica—it's a .903 silver coin minted when Mexico was still a Spanish colony. Based on Mexico's eight Reales silver coins, these silver dollars were legal tender in the U.S. from 1794 to 1857. He also collects the state quarters, so he might like these 51st State Quarters even though they're outside the official collection. They were privately minted after a the Senate bill that would have extended the program with quarters for Washington DC and the four US territories was anonymously blocked.

Gramps also likes to search bulk coins. When I was a kid, I used to help him go through bags and bags of unsearched coins looking for that one rare find that would make his day. This bag of Buffalo Nickels, minted between 1913 and 1938, might help him round out his nickel collection.

Our Genuine Mercury Dimes collection contains ten of these increasingly rare coins. The dimes are mounted for display with one .900 silver dime from each of the last ten years of issue (1936-1945.) And this set of Double-Dated Coins is also ready for display. It contains coins of the same denomination that shared a common production year but had different designs. For example, in 1916, the Barber dime was ending its 24-year run and the Mercury dime was beginning.

Lincoln pennies are really popular with collectors and this is the best Lincoln Penny Collection I've ever seen. 98 pennies, one from each year of issue (including the increasingly rare 1943 steel cent) are displayed in a museum-quality portfolio. It's great for both new collectors and lifetime collectors like my grandfather.

Collectors also like counterfeit coins—as long as there's a good story behind them. The Racketeer Nickel is a perfect example. Called “the most brazen coin fraud in American history,” a deaf-mute named Josh Tatum gold-plated Liberty Head Nickels and passed them off as five dollar coins. And because of a legal technicality, he was never punished for it! To reproduce Tatum's crime, we've plated these Liberty Head Nickels in 24-karat gold and mounted them for display.

Finally, no collector can resist recovered treasure. Our Sunken Treasure Coin is part of a collection of coins lost in 1809 when a British trading ship bound for India sunk in a sudden storm. The ship and its cargo were recovered in 1985. The “10 Cash” coins were packed in wooden casks and trapped in the thick mud so they are still in mint condition.

Since I can't buy every Thing I found in our collection of coins, the hardest thing now will be to decide which of these collectible coins and/or coin collections to give to Gramps for his birthday...

UFOs over texas?

Our company has always had a certain fascination with UFOs and all things paranormal. With the recent UFO sightings over Texas and the subsequent government “explanations,” I thought this would be a good time to bring out some of our more interesting alien-related Things.

This Secrets Of MJ-12 DVD Set questions the government's actual knowledge about UFOs, including MJ-12 or Majic documents that allegedly detail how military personnel are to publicly deal with UFO sightings as well as official protocols and procedures for conducting investigations of alien and UFO encounters. To many UFO researchers, the MJ-12 documents are proof that the Earth is being visited by alien cultures and that the U.S. government not only knows about it, but has specific methods for handling the public and the UFOs themselves. The interviews with researchers and credible UFO authorities are truly shocking. I'm not saying that I believe everything in the video, but the researchers certainly make a strong case that the government is hiding something.

Among UFO researchers and believers, the alien abduction scenario is controversial, but still very much at the forefront of the research. In the UFO Abductions DVD witnesses and internationally respected researchers present their cases including detailed accounts of UFO and alien abductions from all over the world. In my mind, the most shocking and believable evidence comes from a British policeman who photographed one of the aliens that abducted him.

The abduction phenomenon is almost always coupled with accounts of surgical procedures, some including implants left by aliens in the bodies of their human victims. Our Alien Implants DVD Set shows the surgical removal and subsequent laboratory tests of some of these implants. The DVD includes evidence such as an actual alien "claw" found at the location of a repeated alien abduction. The interesting thing about this DVD is that it not only shows evidence and gives results of the pathology, but it tries to solve the mystery of whether these alien implants are beneficial or if there is a more sinister reason for aliens to place implants in human beings.

On the lighter side, we have a couple of alien toys for your home or office. From the movies, we have the deadly Alien Vs Predator Figure Set. Put them on your desk to remind you that not all aliens are of the friendly E.T. variety. And just for fun, we have the Mooning Alien. Hey, I'm hoping that a sense of humor is a Universal constant.

I suppose if I knew the answer to the UFO question, I'd be in a different line of work. But I think it's wise to keep an open mind and look at all the evidence even (maybe especially) when it comes from sources outside official channels. I like to keep an open mind, not so open that my brains fall out on the floor, but open enough to entertain all the possibilities. Of course, you'll have to make up your own mind.

things to heat up valentine's day

Wow. What can I say? Our buyers have outdone themselves for Valentine's Day this year. I don't think I can write this blog entry without blushing, but here goes:

The Wild Thing™ Dress Up Kit is a Valentine's version of the grass skirt and coconut bra. Sexy on a woman and hilarious on a guy, the plastic heart shaped cups tie with tiny strings and the foil skirt is sized to fit anyone who dares to wear it.

We also have a few edible Things to Wear. Yes, edible. This Chocolate Thong is made of Belgian milk chocolate that begins to melt as soon as you put it on. Combine body heat and a chocolate lover to make a sweet Valentine's evening—it comes in male or female versions.

Remember those candy necklaces from when you were a kid? You'll never remember them the same way again after seeing this Candy Bra and Candy G-String.

The Naughty Knot caused an Internet buzz when a video of the inventor presenting it to a panel of American Inventor judges hit the web. Seems one of the judges didn't take it seriously, but now look: it's on the market! It's a sexy bow to wrap up your Valentine that unties with one tug.

Board games are a great way to pass a chilly evening indoors. The Passion Game is a race to the final square and along the way you and your partner find out how well you actually know each other. When you land on a Favor Card, your partner has to do something nice for you, but when you land on a Challenge Card, you'll have to meet the challenge or pay the cost.

Check out the Pole Dancing Kit. You can actually swing, spin and hang upside down on the super strong pole. It includes a DVD that teaches a complete beginner/intermediate routine including multiple pole dancing moves that can be mixed and matched. Don't worry, you don't have to install it permanently. It comes apart in minutes for easy storage.

I hope this week's blog gives you ideas on how to make Valentine's Day memorable. Sure beats dinner and a movie!

sticking to my new year's resolution!

One of my New Year's resolutions was to get in shape in 2008 and so far I'm sticking to it. One of the problems I've had in the past was boredom. If you've ever tried to stick to an exercise regimen, you know that working out can get boring fast if you don't change your routine now and then. Since I don't have time to spend driving back and forth to a gym and waiting in line for machines, I need to have a variety of home exercise options to keep me interested.

Lucky for me, we have some Things that help make exercising fun and interesting while giving you a well-rounded work out. The PushUp Pro™ makes doing push-ups a lot easier, so you can do more of them and maximize your upper body workout. The grips have non-slip bases, so they're easy to use and the set comes with a guide that helps you work all the muscle groups effectively. So you don't get bored working your upper body, try the Ultimate Chin-Up Bar. It's a great workout using your own body weight. The grip handles adjust to help you can target specific muscles and you can also use the bar as a foot anchor when you're doing sit-ups. All you need is a doorway.

I also got this Charles Atlas Kit. It's a great Thing for beginners like me because it's an introductory kit to the famous Atlas program. It includes ten Atlas exercises, a boxing lesson, an information packet on dynamic tension, a poster that charts the exercises for you and a lot more. Another all-around workout aid is the Ultimate Flexibility DVD. My schedule is so hectic that I can't always do a full workout, but with this DVD, at least I can get in a quick session of body stretching. It even has a bonus workout that focuses on stretches for high kicks and splits. You won't see me doing the splits any time soon, but who knows? A little practice goes a long way...

Finally, we have three booklets that target chest, arms and abs. The 10-Minute Chest Builder Book gives you two 10 minute workouts a week based on the chest-building secrets of the world's greatest bodybuilders. You learn what to lift, what and when to eat and when to rest while growing and strengthening your pectorals. And the Massive Arms Book does the same thing for your biceps, triceps & forearms. You learn how and what to lift, what to eat and how to build great arms without injuring yourself. The Ab Blast Booklet gives you four simple exercises to do only twice a week without weights. It uses the latest training techniques to help you first shape and separate your abs, then reveal them by with proven cardio exercises that burn body fat.

After less than two weeks, I'm already starting to see results and I'm starting to feel better, too. I'm determined to stick with it. If your resolution was to get fit, but you're worried about boredom, these Things can help you change up your routines, stick to your program and have a happier, healthier, stronger year without a single trip to the gym.

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

things you really wanted for christmas -- on sale

I think the best thing about the end of the holiday season are the big sales. Let's face it, we don't always get every Thing we asked for for Christmas. A big sale means I can get more of the Things I wanted but didn't get for Christmas. In the spirit of the holiday season, we decided to mark down a few of our favorite and best-selling Things so you can stretch your dollar, too.

Here are a couple of our favorite DVDs: Prophecy: The Next 1000 Years, which draws from the prophecies of the Egyptians, the Bible, the Mayans, Hopi Indians, Nostradamus, and Edgar Cayce and makes a strong case that the ancients really did predict the future of modern man. And The Lost Tomb of Jesus reveals what might be the most controversial archaeological discovery of all time. It's a real-life detective story that sheds light on one of the world's most powerful secrets.

The Apprentice Game was one Thing on my list that I didn't get, so I bought it as soon as it went on sale. The game console plugs into the TV for added realism. Just like the TV show, the board game has the same twists and turns - players moving from team to team, dreaded visits to the boardroom and of course the infamous words: “You're fired!”

If board games aren't your Thing, this All Weather Sports Radio might be for you. It has 20 station presets, an alarm clock and a hold function to prevent accidental button pushing during your activities. And you can easily operate it with one hand. It's perfect for jogging, the gym or any physical activity.

There are a few Things on sale for collectors, too. This talking Steve Irwin figure is one of our bestsellers and one of my personal favorites. I always loved watching him wrestle crocodiles and get up close and personal with wild animals. I think this Thing is so popular because it talks in Steve Irwin’s actual voice. It has two modes: Fun Phrases, which speaks 8 of his famous expressions and Story Mode, which takes you to a croc rescue adventure.

For baseball fans we have this very limited edition of 300 autographed and numbered proof panels commemorating Nolan Ryan’s 300 wins. The panels were never issued for sale to the general public. It has 4 different 2.5" x 3.5" proof cards together on a single 3.5" x 10" panel and comes with a certificate of authenticity. For baseball fans like me, it's a must-have.

Coin collectors will like this Jefferson Coin Set. Each coin is struck with a different colorized portrait of our third President including the original portrait which appeared on the 1938-2004 nickel and the new portraits that appeared on the 2005 and 2006 nickels. Depicting symbols of his life, such as the Declaration of Independence and his famous home, Monticello, they make great keepsakes.

Of course, we have Things on sale all year round. Shop by price or category to find some of your favorite Things at low prices.

things to help you keep your new year's resolution

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

--Henry Ford

It's the time of year when we make promises to ourselves to change something or improve our lives in the coming new year. Hearing everyone around the office talking about New Year's resolutions made me curious. How did the tradition start? What are the most common promises we make? How often do we succeed at keeping our resolutions. I couldn't find out how New Year's resolutions started, but I did find out that the tradition dates way back to the early Babylonians1 and that for them returning borrowed farm equipment was a popular resolution. Modern resolutions usually have to do with self-improvement like improving our health, giving up bad habits or adopting new positive habits. Not surprisingly, most of us will abandon our resolutions within just a few weeks. Here are some common resolutions and a few Things that can improve your odds of succeeding.

If getting in shape is on your list of self-improvement goals, this Ultimate Flexibility DVD can help you stick to your resolution with a workout thats fits into a busy schedule. There are three workouts -- easy, moderate, and intense that give you a total body stretch with a focus on muscles used in martial arts training. The StretchRite Trainer is a natural companion and makes stretching more comfortable and easier than ever. The trainer has numbered handgrips that allow you to adjust tension and see your progress for positive reinforcement. After you stretch, you can move on to more strenuous activities with the Ultimate Chin-Up Bar and Push Up Pro. Don't forget, before you begin an exercise program, you should always check with your doctor.

A lot of people pledge to learn new skills at New Year's. Maybe you've always wanted to play a musical instrument. With the Guitar For Beginners set, world famous guitar teacher Esteban teaches you essential chords and how to tune your guitar, read music, play rhythm and lead. It's really easy to follow and he makes it fun to learn. And with our fast learning system, Play Piano Instantly, you can learn the "Big 3" chords to accompany the songs you love, including folk, pop, gospel and country. If you don't want to play, you can always learn to dance to the music with dance champion Kasia Kozak's Freestyle Dance or Slow Dance DVD. The slow dance DVD teaches you how to hold your partner, lead and follow steps, learn underarm turns and dips, and how to dance in time with the music. With the freestyle DVD, you learn the freestyle steps you see everyone else doing in no time.

Last but certainly not least, thousands of people try to quit smoking at the beginning of each year. Zerosmoke can help you quit in 30 days. There are no pills, gums, or patches. The system is a safe all-natural form of ear acupuncture -- without the needles. You simply place a 24kt gold-plated biomagnet on your ear for a couple of hours each day until the desire to smoke is gone. The biomagnets stimulate neurotransmitters that gradually reduce your desire to smoke while helping reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms.Maybe we should make sticking to our resolutions a resolution, too. Whatever you resolve to do this New Year's, I know you can do it.

the season of magic

One of the best things about the holidays is the magical feel in the air. Since all your friends and relatives are gathered in one place, why not take the opportunity to practice your magic act? We have some cool tricks to try out this year. From sleight of hand to illusion, there's something for every aspiring magician in our trunk full of tricks.

It's probably best to start with something easy, like the Pen Through Dollar trick or the Cigarette Through Coin trick. In the first, you get a dollar from someone in your audience and then jam your magic pen right through it, but when you return the dollar, it's unharmed! In the coin trick, you push a cigarette (or a pencil if you prefer) right through a normal looking quarter. Both are very easy to learn but very hard for your audience to figure out. The Rigid Rope trick is pretty simple, but if you need help it comes with instructions and a couple of funny routines. I like doing the Linking Rings trick. Eight seemingly solid rings come apart and link together in dozens of ways. It takes a bit of time to master this one, but with a little practice, you can do a hundred tricks with them.

Ask for a female volunteer to help you with the Baffling Bra trick. Two handkerchiefs seem to pass right through her body, snagging her lacy bra on the way. This one makes everyone laugh, including your victim. But you might want to save it for after the little ones are in bed.

I like the D'Lite trick because it's easy and you can work it into lots of other tricks. You can pluck a light out of thin air, pass it between your hands, throw it to someone across the room or even make your ears light up. It's a very, very clever trick. I've been doing it for years and no one has ever figured out how it works. This year, I've been studying the DVD, watching master magicians work with the trick and practicing some more advanced techniques. I can't wait to try out my new “act.”

My nephew is into card tricks, so I got him the Card Trick Encyclopedia for Christmas. It's a staggering collection of 600 card tricks that have been invented and improved upon by magicians for over 40 years. The writing style is clear and the instructions are really easy to follow. I think he'll even be able to quickly learn a few tricks for the “show” this year. I also bought him the Learn To Levitate DVD. It's very simple to make money, cards, knives, balls and other objects levitate. Believe it or not, it's just as easy to levitate yourself. You don't even need any special gimmicks or rigging. All you need is about a half hour to watch the DVD and you'll be levitating household objects.

With a bag full of tricks and a room full of friends and relatives trapped inside because of the cold, you've got yourself a holiday magic show. Which reminds me, I'd better get going—I still need to practice a couple of those D'Lite tricks.

games for giving & playing

It probably won't surprise you that I love to play games. Video games, board games, puzzles—it doesn't matter, I'll play. This time of year is perfect for recruiting players because the house is usually full of guests and it's cold outside. Last night we were playing a hilarious new board game: The Redneck Game. It's based on the blue collar comedy of Jeff Foxworthy. The object of the game is to fill in the blanks to questions like: “You might be a Redneck if you've ever picked your teeth with a: Menu? Fork? Pen at the Bank?" and “You might be a Redneck if you get your daily amount of fiber from: Pork rinds? Toothpicks? Chewin' tobacco?” If you pick the one that's the official Foxworthy answer, you get all kinds of neat stuff to fill your trailer. The game is so funny I didn't even care that I wasn't the first to fill my trailer.

“A Christmas Story” is a board game from the classic movie that brings back memories of scenes like the Schoolyard, The Alley, the Department Store Santa, and "Double Dog Dares!" You win points by answering trivia questions from the movie to win the ultimate prize: the coveted B.B. gun. And in Pirates Of The Caribbean Trilogy Monopoly you play the role of your favorite pirate and battle for control of the high seas. Buy, sell and trade the most popular locations from all three movies, Port Royal Jail, Cannibal Village, Shipwreck City, Singapore Bath House and more are on the block. The thing I like about this version is it has a 60-minute speed-play option, which keeps everyone on their toes.

Everything goes better with pop culture and chess is no exception. This South Park Chess Set is right up my alley. The makers matched the characters to chess pieces perfectly: Chef is King, Big Gay Al is Queen, Kyle is Bishop, Cartman is Knight, and Kenny is (what else?) Pawn. I play this one with a friend who can impersonate almost every character in the show. Chess was never so funny. If you like a more traditional chess game but with an electronic twist, try out the Touch Screen Chess game. It's a tough computer to beat, but with 56 levels, a threat indicator, and a hint key you stand a fighting chance even against the computer.

Finally, this Major League Baseball Rookie Card Puzzle is my newest brain teaser. You'd think a puzzle of baseball cards would be simple, but it's not as easy as it seems. It's a collage of rookie cards for Hall-of-Famers, but the cards aren't lined up in neat little rows and the thing is just full of color. The cool thing about this puzzle is that you get to check out the rookie cards for some of baseball's greatest players like Jackie Robinson, Sandy Koufax, and Mickey Mantle.

I'm still trying to solve this Fifteen Puzzle I told you about a couple of weeks ago. We've sold it for years and I've never been able to solve it. It drives me nuts. I give up on it. Try again. Give up on it. Try again. I'll solve it. You just wait and see...

gag gift stocking stuffers, under a buck!

There are two ways to get at the goodies in your Christmas stocking: digging and dumping. I'm a digger. I love digging down to the bottom of the stocking and pulling out the little items “Santa” had left for me. My sister is a dumper. She simply up-ends the stocking and shakes it until everything comes out on the floor. Either way, the stocking is one of the coolest Christmas traditions because you get a lot of little Things at once. Now that I'm a grown-up (sort of), I always contribute some Thing from our 99-cent collection to the kids' stockings.

My first choice is always some Thing fart- or poop-related. Since I grew up in this business, I really can't help myself. Fart candy and fart powder are two of my personal favorites, but since both have a gassy effect on unsuspecting victims, I'd advise you to have plenty of scented candles on hand. For less smelly Things, you could try the classic whoopee cushion, which “gives forth noises better imagined than described.” The same could be said for the fart whistle. Fake poop is always a festive choice. The dog mess looks like a real pile of doggy doo. It's very effective when placed in cooking or eating areas. And this “oops” looks like a real human oops. Place it on a toilet seat to hear a chorus of “yuks” and “ewwwwws.”

Of course, not everyone is into poop and fart jokes (though I can't see why not), so we have some other under-a-buck stocking stuffer classics. For the car, we have fake bullet hole decals that look very real when applied to windows or even paint. And our phony parking tickets that look official but say things like “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits” are great for handing out in those busy day-after-Christmas parking lots.

For other great fake-out Things, try the phony brick. It looks real, especially when someone is hurling it in your direction, but it's made of harmless foam rubber. To burn non-smokers, pull out one of these fake cigarettes in a clean air zone. Just blow on it to release a harmless white powder that resembles smoke and wait for the howling to begin.

But we can't let smokers off the hook, can we? Sneak one of these stink loads into a cigarette and watch the stench clear the room. My aunt started chewing gum years ago when she quit smoking and she's never without it. Knowing me as well as she does she won't take a piece of gum from me, but I can leave a pack of pepper gum lying around and she'll fall for it every time. And candy is everywhere at this time of year, so the bloody-mouth candy always catches a few victims.So fill those stockings to the brim with fun and inexpensive Things this year and have a merry, merry time watching people play their practical jokes on each other. And stay tuned, we'll have some more great Things to talk about next week...

simply shocking gifts

Gag gifts are some of my favorites. From old standards like the hand-held joy buzzer to MP3 players, we have some shocking gag gifts to stuff stockings and scare the stuffing out of the people on your list this year.

The joy buzzer is an old favorite that never goes out of style. The beauty of this little Thing is that it can be concealed in your palm until an unsuspecting victim dares to shake your hand. Then: BZZZZT!

Another favorite shocker is the perfectly innocent-looking pack of gum. When a moocher asks you for a piece, you simply extend the pack and wait for the zap! One of my favorites is the shocking stack of quarters. You just put them in a conspicuous place and watch the sparks fly when a greedy hand goes to grab them.

Useful Things can be shocking, too. For example, this flashlight really works—if you know the secret, but it delivers quite a jolt to people who don't. This pen looks like an expensive, high-quality ballpoint pen, but it comes with an electrifying extra feature. My sister, being the notorious pen pincher that she is, always goes for it. I bet I've gotten her with this one at least a dozen times. Her reaction is almost always the same—first she's surprised, then she's mad at me for getting her again, then she's mad at herself for not remembering that I'm always getting her with the very same gag. Sisters are so entertaining sometimes.

You can get the smokers in your life with this shocking lighter. Maybe you could give it to someone who's trying to quit and suggests a little bit of “behavior modification therapy.” Every time they try to light up, they'll get zapped.

The shocking candy jar could work the same way for someone who's trying to cut back on the sweets. But my favorite is the shocking MP3 player because it looks so real. While shocking gum and pens and joy buzzers have been around for a long time, no one suspects the MP3 player. It works on everyone, including the people who know me well, who know my penchant for playing practical jokes and even people who have fallen victim to my shocking sense of humor before. It has never failed me. Not once.

I hope this gives you a few electrifying ideas for gag gifts or even gifts for yourself. Next week, I'll show you some great stocking stuffers you can get for under a buck.

classic gift ideas

Tired of racking your brain to come up with a unique gift that people will actually like? Something they might really use? Something they won't throw in the closet? Or even worse, re-gift to someone who doesn't really want it either? Me, too. Thankfully, we have some classic gifts that everyone can use.

Our reproduction of the well-known Fifteen Puzzle™ is one of the most popular games we have, which is amazing when you consider it's over 100 years old. I think it still appeals to people because it's a really tough puzzle to solve. It's also a great piece of collectible nostalgia. The Mystery Top is another Thing we've carried for years that never seems to lose its popularity. It spins at 2500 RPM with no apparent energy source for days on end and it's small enough to fit in your pocket. It absolutely baffles almost everyone who sees it.

Puzzles and toys aren't for everyone though. For a classic carnival experience, our table top version of the Duck Shoot Gallery is a great gift. I bought this one already. (Um...yes, for myself.) You shoot at the duckies with a wireless infrared pistol and watch them topple as your successful hit registers on and LCD display. It even has a Midway barker's voice to guide you through the game and unlike most electronic games, it comes with batteries.

Our Steam Engine is a true classic. It's a powerful precision-made horizontal engine with grooved pulley & balanced flywheel for driving objects. The brass boiler is nickel plated and it even has a steam whistle. The cool thing about this Thing is that it requires no electricity. It runs on inexpensive dry fuel tablets instead.

For people who like to ring in the holidays with a bang, we have Big Bertha, our largest and loudest Carbide Cannon. This type of cannon has been in use for over 50 years and operates on the same principle as a car engine—all it needs is gas, fresh air, and a spark. Believe me when I tell you the Thing produces a big flash and boom. They're great for celebrations all year-round. You probably won't be surprised to learn that I have two of them. I like to shoot them in tandem to keep the party booming.

Well, I think I'll head for the warehouse and see what else I can dig up. Stay tuned for more gift ideas next week. I might just come up with something that will shock you.

rush, rush, rush

Everyone is in such a rush to get ready for the holidays. I went to the mall on Saturday and it was a nightmare. First, I had to park like eighteen miles from the entrance. Then, after my trek across the parking lot, for which I should have packed a snack or at least a bottle of water, the people inside were so stressed and hurried. They rushed past me like I was standing still. The whole experience was a blur of anxiety and pressure. Believe it or not, I left without buying a single thing. It's unlike me, I know, but I just couldn't stand that frenetic energy for a minute longer.

On the hike back to my car, I decided to go downtown and see what the smaller shops had to offer. After twenty minutes of wasting precious gasoline, and getting flipped off by a guy who front parked into a space I was clearly backing into, it was clear I wouldn't find a parking spot anywhere close to the shopping district. On the way home, I made up my mind: mail order shopping is the way to go. Okay, so maybe I'm more than a little bit biased, but I look at it this way: either you curl up on the sofa with a stack of freshly minted catalogs or you hang out at the computer surfing for cool new stuff. Either one beats the heck out of fighting the crowds. Plus, with gas prices the way they are, who needs to be driving from store to store or mall to mall when all it takes is a click of the mouse to visit the same stores?

The season is busy enough without adding extra aggravation. Shopping at home is relaxing. No crowds. No crying children. No salespeople talking on their cell phones and working harder at avoiding making eye contact with you than they do at actually selling products. No piped in music with canned versions of songs you used to love that somehow now seem to grate on your very last nerve. Instead, you can put on the music you want and shop in your PJs.

Of course, you have to order a bit earlier - planning is key, especially if you want to pay only standard shipping. Still, for my money, paying expedited shipping is worth not having to go to the mall or drive around downtown competing for metered spaces that the meter readers watch like hawks at this time of year. Plus, most online stores offer gift wrapping now and they'll ship everything directly to the person you're buying for. So you even save a trip to the post office – we won't go into how much I hate going there.

Between Saturday night and Sunday, I got a lot of my shopping done. And it's not even Thanksgiving yet. It's so unlike me to be prepared this early that when I told my sister, who is always way ahead of the holiday curve, her jaw dropped and she looked at me like I had three heads. I think I'm going to like my new tradition.

I'll see you next week. In the meantime, I strongly recommend relaxing with a stack of catalogs and/or pointing and clicking your way to a less stressful holiday.

toys, toys, toys!!

One of the best things about the holiday season is it gives me an excuse to buy new toys. I even buy a few for the kids. :-) This year our buyers have outdone themselves finding cool new toys as well as some blast-from-the-past Things. I can barely walk through the warehouse without finding something I want to buy!

First off, I had to get this animated T-shirt. It has a glowing equalizer display that reacts to music or any sound. There's a hidden pocket inside for the remote control that has both an on/off switch and high or low intensity options. You just flip it on when you're close to the music and watch the shirt dance. Check out the movie clip to see it in action. I already got a Light-Up Moon for my niece. She's totally into astronomy, which I think is amazing since she's only in grade school. You hang it on your wall and it matches the moon phases outside. She's going to love it. Since, like her uncle, she's a science nut, I think she'll also like this digital microscope that connects directly to your computer.

If you're into electronic Things, you'll have to check out these new radio controlled toys. The Laser Megabotz Tanks come equipped with laser cannon and shields. Once your tank gets hit, it can't move for four seconds, leaving you vulnerable to more and more hits. After ten hits, you're out. You can either play with a friend, against the computer or just let the two bots fight it out with each other. And this radio controlled Spaceman is totally cool. It comes with a jet pack and propeller and has LED lights so you can fly it around in a dark room for that total spaceman effect.

Remember Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots™? Well, we have them! They came out in the sixties and we used to play with them endlessly. I remember the thrill of watching my opponent's head pop up with the big power punch. I also remember getting my own block knocked off by, of all people, my sister. And speaking of nostalgia, we have two tabletop versions of the old classic arcade games, Frogger and Space Invaders. You play them exactly the same way, with joystick controllers, and even the sounds are just like you remember them. I'm trying to figure out an excuse for why I need both of them in my house.

Our 3-D Tic Tac Toe game is a high tech version of the old pencil and paper game. The pieces actually levitate by the magic of magnetism. And our Laser Strategy Game is the first-ever board game with built-in lasers. The object of the game is to take out your opponent's pharaoh while shielding your own pharaoh from harm. The laser beam bounces off of the other mirrored game pieces, so you have to plan each move carefully to put your pieces in position to make a perfect laser beam to the enemy pharaoh. Let me just say this: it's more challenging than even chess!The toys just keep piling up in our warehouse, so watch this space for more. As for me, I can't wait!