the season of magic

One of the best things about the holidays is the magical feel in the air. Since all your friends and relatives are gathered in one place, why not take the opportunity to practice your magic act? We have some cool tricks to try out this year. From sleight of hand to illusion, there's something for every aspiring magician in our trunk full of tricks.

It's probably best to start with something easy, like the Pen Through Dollar trick or the Cigarette Through Coin trick. In the first, you get a dollar from someone in your audience and then jam your magic pen right through it, but when you return the dollar, it's unharmed! In the coin trick, you push a cigarette (or a pencil if you prefer) right through a normal looking quarter. Both are very easy to learn but very hard for your audience to figure out. The Rigid Rope trick is pretty simple, but if you need help it comes with instructions and a couple of funny routines. I like doing the Linking Rings trick. Eight seemingly solid rings come apart and link together in dozens of ways. It takes a bit of time to master this one, but with a little practice, you can do a hundred tricks with them.

Ask for a female volunteer to help you with the Baffling Bra trick. Two handkerchiefs seem to pass right through her body, snagging her lacy bra on the way. This one makes everyone laugh, including your victim. But you might want to save it for after the little ones are in bed.

I like the D'Lite trick because it's easy and you can work it into lots of other tricks. You can pluck a light out of thin air, pass it between your hands, throw it to someone across the room or even make your ears light up. It's a very, very clever trick. I've been doing it for years and no one has ever figured out how it works. This year, I've been studying the DVD, watching master magicians work with the trick and practicing some more advanced techniques. I can't wait to try out my new “act.”

My nephew is into card tricks, so I got him the Card Trick Encyclopedia for Christmas. It's a staggering collection of 600 card tricks that have been invented and improved upon by magicians for over 40 years. The writing style is clear and the instructions are really easy to follow. I think he'll even be able to quickly learn a few tricks for the “show” this year. I also bought him the Learn To Levitate DVD. It's very simple to make money, cards, knives, balls and other objects levitate. Believe it or not, it's just as easy to levitate yourself. You don't even need any special gimmicks or rigging. All you need is about a half hour to watch the DVD and you'll be levitating household objects.

With a bag full of tricks and a room full of friends and relatives trapped inside because of the cold, you've got yourself a holiday magic show. Which reminds me, I'd better get going—I still need to practice a couple of those D'Lite tricks.

gag gift stocking stuffers, under a buck!

There are two ways to get at the goodies in your Christmas stocking: digging and dumping. I'm a digger. I love digging down to the bottom of the stocking and pulling out the little items “Santa” had left for me. My sister is a dumper. She simply up-ends the stocking and shakes it until everything comes out on the floor. Either way, the stocking is one of the coolest Christmas traditions because you get a lot of little Things at once. Now that I'm a grown-up (sort of), I always contribute some Thing from our 99-cent collection to the kids' stockings.

My first choice is always some Thing fart- or poop-related. Since I grew up in this business, I really can't help myself. Fart candy and fart powder are two of my personal favorites, but since both have a gassy effect on unsuspecting victims, I'd advise you to have plenty of scented candles on hand. For less smelly Things, you could try the classic whoopee cushion, which “gives forth noises better imagined than described.” The same could be said for the fart whistle. Fake poop is always a festive choice. The dog mess looks like a real pile of doggy doo. It's very effective when placed in cooking or eating areas. And this “oops” looks like a real human oops. Place it on a toilet seat to hear a chorus of “yuks” and “ewwwwws.”

Of course, not everyone is into poop and fart jokes (though I can't see why not), so we have some other under-a-buck stocking stuffer classics. For the car, we have fake bullet hole decals that look very real when applied to windows or even paint. And our phony parking tickets that look official but say things like “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits” are great for handing out in those busy day-after-Christmas parking lots.

For other great fake-out Things, try the phony brick. It looks real, especially when someone is hurling it in your direction, but it's made of harmless foam rubber. To burn non-smokers, pull out one of these fake cigarettes in a clean air zone. Just blow on it to release a harmless white powder that resembles smoke and wait for the howling to begin.

But we can't let smokers off the hook, can we? Sneak one of these stink loads into a cigarette and watch the stench clear the room. My aunt started chewing gum years ago when she quit smoking and she's never without it. Knowing me as well as she does she won't take a piece of gum from me, but I can leave a pack of pepper gum lying around and she'll fall for it every time. And candy is everywhere at this time of year, so the bloody-mouth candy always catches a few victims.So fill those stockings to the brim with fun and inexpensive Things this year and have a merry, merry time watching people play their practical jokes on each other. And stay tuned, we'll have some more great Things to talk about next week...

simply shocking gifts

Gag gifts are some of my favorites. From old standards like the hand-held joy buzzer to MP3 players, we have some shocking gag gifts to stuff stockings and scare the stuffing out of the people on your list this year.

The joy buzzer is an old favorite that never goes out of style. The beauty of this little Thing is that it can be concealed in your palm until an unsuspecting victim dares to shake your hand. Then: BZZZZT!

Another favorite shocker is the perfectly innocent-looking pack of gum. When a moocher asks you for a piece, you simply extend the pack and wait for the zap! One of my favorites is the shocking stack of quarters. You just put them in a conspicuous place and watch the sparks fly when a greedy hand goes to grab them.

Useful Things can be shocking, too. For example, this flashlight really works—if you know the secret, but it delivers quite a jolt to people who don't. This pen looks like an expensive, high-quality ballpoint pen, but it comes with an electrifying extra feature. My sister, being the notorious pen pincher that she is, always goes for it. I bet I've gotten her with this one at least a dozen times. Her reaction is almost always the same—first she's surprised, then she's mad at me for getting her again, then she's mad at herself for not remembering that I'm always getting her with the very same gag. Sisters are so entertaining sometimes.

You can get the smokers in your life with this shocking lighter. Maybe you could give it to someone who's trying to quit and suggests a little bit of “behavior modification therapy.” Every time they try to light up, they'll get zapped.

The shocking candy jar could work the same way for someone who's trying to cut back on the sweets. But my favorite is the shocking MP3 player because it looks so real. While shocking gum and pens and joy buzzers have been around for a long time, no one suspects the MP3 player. It works on everyone, including the people who know me well, who know my penchant for playing practical jokes and even people who have fallen victim to my shocking sense of humor before. It has never failed me. Not once.

I hope this gives you a few electrifying ideas for gag gifts or even gifts for yourself. Next week, I'll show you some great stocking stuffers you can get for under a buck.

toys, toys, toys!!

One of the best things about the holiday season is it gives me an excuse to buy new toys. I even buy a few for the kids. :-) This year our buyers have outdone themselves finding cool new toys as well as some blast-from-the-past Things. I can barely walk through the warehouse without finding something I want to buy!

First off, I had to get this animated T-shirt. It has a glowing equalizer display that reacts to music or any sound. There's a hidden pocket inside for the remote control that has both an on/off switch and high or low intensity options. You just flip it on when you're close to the music and watch the shirt dance. Check out the movie clip to see it in action. I already got a Light-Up Moon for my niece. She's totally into astronomy, which I think is amazing since she's only in grade school. You hang it on your wall and it matches the moon phases outside. She's going to love it. Since, like her uncle, she's a science nut, I think she'll also like this digital microscope that connects directly to your computer.

If you're into electronic Things, you'll have to check out these new radio controlled toys. The Laser Megabotz Tanks come equipped with laser cannon and shields. Once your tank gets hit, it can't move for four seconds, leaving you vulnerable to more and more hits. After ten hits, you're out. You can either play with a friend, against the computer or just let the two bots fight it out with each other. And this radio controlled Spaceman is totally cool. It comes with a jet pack and propeller and has LED lights so you can fly it around in a dark room for that total spaceman effect.

Remember Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots™? Well, we have them! They came out in the sixties and we used to play with them endlessly. I remember the thrill of watching my opponent's head pop up with the big power punch. I also remember getting my own block knocked off by, of all people, my sister. And speaking of nostalgia, we have two tabletop versions of the old classic arcade games, Frogger and Space Invaders. You play them exactly the same way, with joystick controllers, and even the sounds are just like you remember them. I'm trying to figure out an excuse for why I need both of them in my house.

Our 3-D Tic Tac Toe game is a high tech version of the old pencil and paper game. The pieces actually levitate by the magic of magnetism. And our Laser Strategy Game is the first-ever board game with built-in lasers. The object of the game is to take out your opponent's pharaoh while shielding your own pharaoh from harm. The laser beam bounces off of the other mirrored game pieces, so you have to plan each move carefully to put your pieces in position to make a perfect laser beam to the enemy pharaoh. Let me just say this: it's more challenging than even chess!The toys just keep piling up in our warehouse, so watch this space for more. As for me, I can't wait!